Before I start my little story, I need to update y’alls 411. Now, granted there are quite a few things I need to catch y’all up on, but let’s just start with this one. B switched jobs to one that he no longer has to travel 364 days a year for! *DANCE PARTY* We are both SUPER stoked about this, and I would say I am moreso than he but I think it’s really more of a tie. Bonus: his job is quite close to mine, so we commute in together. Isn’t that just precious? We are super adorable, bro. I’ll wait here while you barf from all the PRESHUS.
OK, So leaving work yesterday, waiting at a red light to turn so I could turn left to get on 77S to pick B up from his office - it’s my week to drive. Awwww! Go ahead, I’ll wait again…
It was an extremely gorgeous evening. So, In an effort to take part in/enjoy the remaining few hours of daylight, I began turning the volume up on the music, rolling down all the windows, and opening the sunroof/moondeck/top hole in moving vehicle - whatever we are calling it these days. While trying to achieve the optimal ratio of window vs. rolled down window so as to create a breezy effect rather than a wind tunnel, the light changes and I step on the gas…
As one does.
As I am turning left onto the highway onramp, I see two things happening out of the corner of my right eye:
My purse, that was seated all comfy-like in the passenger seat, toppling over in the direction of the passenger door, “GOD DAMMIT!!!!,” I yelled, to no one.
A white piece of paper - that looked to be the size of 8.5x11 folded in half horizontally - fly out of purse and climb up and possibly out of said window. “Shit! Wait! Was that? Did that happen?! What was that?!” I said, again, to no one.
I didn’t really think about it again until I laid down to go to sleep. It is now 5:38am. I have not been able to fall asleep. My brain WILL NOT STOP WITH THE ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES. I can’t figure out what this piece of paper was and/or what it was for. What if it was one of my Doctor’s bills and it has all my personal information on it and someone is going to find it and like STEAL MY IDENTITY! OR what if it’s one of my paper prescriptions for my pain medication! (And no, I don’t keep those in my purse, but man WHAT IF?!) Or what if it’s a piece of paper that has my address on it and some Hooligan finds it and locates our house and breaks in and steals everything and lets our cats out - our cats do not ever go outside! :( OR worse! Steals everything and kills our cats AND us in our sleep! OR makes us kill each other at gun point (yeah, clearly I watch too much TV) OR what if its a random piece of paper - that never existed in my purse prior to this incident, nor will ever exist- with just my social security number on it, or maybe my bank statement even though I don’t get paper bank statements. OR what if, you know…I’m not even completely certain the piece of paper made it out of the damn car, to be quite honest.
I’ve dumped my purse out twice. I’ve looked at all the paper items. All of the items I remember to be in there ARE STILL IN THERE. The Doctor’s bills I mentioned are STILL IN THERE. I remember throwing a relatively thin soft-cover book in my purse before I left work. So, in THEORY, this book should have been on top of everything. Keeping everything safe from that terribly wicked wicked wind, and my.. uhm…lead foot. ahem
I keep thinking I should have stopped on the ramp shoulder and tried to reclaim said piece of paper in that very busy intersection. I mean, what could have possibly gone wrong?